This semester, I'm taking a testing & assessment class, which teaches us about the various psychological test instruments and how to use them. I decided to create one myself, inspired by my two youngest children. It is short but reliable.
Directions: Imagine what you'd do in each of the following scenarios and choose the most likely answer:
1. When you wake up in the morning, the first thing you do is:
a. take your dog, which you begged for and promised to care for, out to pee before quietly making yourself a bowl of cereal.
b. swaddle your dog tightly in the blanket, rendering him immobile, and go back to sleep
c. throw your dog in your mother's bed, ask her to fix you pancakes, and go back to sleep until breakfast is ready
2. You are on the couch, watching TV. Your mother is upstairs painting nesting dolls and listening to BeeGee's radio on Pandora. You need the remote, which is on the chair across from the couch, out of reach. You:
a. get up to get the remote and, while you are up, gather your candy wrappers and little pile of toenail clippings and put them in the trash.
b. just go ahead and watch 'Fishing With Roland Martin'
c. call your mother on your cell phone and ask her to come downstairs and hand you the remote
3. You are doing your math homework when your pencil lead breaks. You:
a. get up and find the pencil sharpener
b. use the crayon that the dog is chewing on at your feet
c. figure you really didn't need to learn fractions anyway
4. You are home from college for the weekend. You'd like to hang out with someone around your own age. Most of your friends, who are also home from school, live in a neighborhood less than half a mile away. You:
a. ride your bike over to Dennis's house
b. call your friends and tell them to come pick you up and take you to Applebee's
c. ask your 21-year-old sister to watch you play Bioshock II
5. You are getting ready to work out at the Y and you want an energy drink before you go. You:
a. mix yourself a smoothie, adding fresh fruit and yogurt
b. just eat a banana; the smoothie is too much trouble
c. stare at the jar of protein powder until your mother offers to pour the milk and get the spoon
Scoring: Give yourself 1 point for each a answer, 2 points for each b answer, and 3 points for each c answer.
5-8: Congratulations! You have a pulse and measurable brain waves.
9-12: You are slothful but resourceful.
13-15: Someone needs to make sure you're breathing and that you don't drown in your own drool.