Here's a sample of last night's brilliance at Suburban Tap:
Chopper (the Team Trivia Host): Your category is Fictional Characters. The question is, What fictional character's name meant "white face" in Ape language?
Blaise: Who was the main character in Planet of the Apes?
TR: Oh my god, what WAS his name? Charlton Heston played him. Raquel Welch was in it with him, riding a horse.
Blaise: And Marky Mark was in the remake. Jack, did you see the remake?
Georgia: I did. But I was about TEN!
Biggy: Think, y'all! Ape language!
TR: I still have that image of her on the horse. When I was a kid, I wanted to grow up to look like that.
Blaise: C'Mon...Marky Mark...Ape language...No one remembers what they called him?
(Wham song coming to an end)
Biggy: We have to put something down!
Jack: How about Cracker?
Biggy: Na...I'm putting Nilla.
TR: Ha! Turn it in.
Chopper: Ok, again, the question was, What fictional character's name meant "white face" in Ape language? And the answer is: Tarzan. Your next category is Sports. The question is, What 1992 American Olympic gold medalist figure skater played Princess Jasmine in Disney's Aladdin on Ice?
TR: Who was the girl Tonya Harding beat up? The one with long dark hair?
Biggy: Kerry something.
Blaise; He said Gold medalist. Kerry didn't didn't win the year she got clubbed. You sure it wasn't Michelle Kwan? What year was she?
Biggy: Michelle Kwan's not American. No, I know it's that Kerry girl. What's her last name?! Kerry....Kerry...
Georgia: Does he mean she WON the medal in '92, or could she have won it any time? The question's not clear.
Jack: I wouldn't know anything about Disney on Ice.
(Meatloaf song coming to an end)
TR: Just put down Michelle Kwan, since we don't know Kerry's last name.
Biggy: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! Fine! (Writes it down, goes to turn it in.)
TR: Her last name was Something-aggin. Something-aggin...Kerrigan. NANCY KERRIGAN! Catch him!
Blaise: It's too late. He already put it in the pitcher.
(Biggy comes back, sits down.)
TR: Nancy Kerrigan!
(Biggy slaps his forehead, which takes a while. Meatloaf song ends.)
Chopper: Your question was, What 1992 American Olympic gold medalist figure skater played Princess Jasmine in Disney's Aladdin on Ice? The answer is: Kristy Yamaguchi.
*Note: Girl on horse was Linda Harrison, not Raquel Welch.