Help Me

I need something like this for my yard, but I don't know where to find one.


So. Not. Funny.

Right there, in the space between the Time magazine and the bath mat, is where my scales are supposed to be.


Blogger Fail

So I was sure I could post every day in January--hence, the cute little NaBloPoMo button in the sidebar, indicating the theme, BEST. How hard can it be, really, to think of the best of something every 24 hours? And yet, and yet, I have already missed three days! I'm a loser, Baby. At the very least, I could throw up a picture of the Christmas tree that is still in full regalia, dehydrating in the corner of our sunroom. Or Jack's New Year's resolution grocery list that makes me feel like I'm shopping for Cobb County's next Junior Miss (Fresca, lo-fat yogurt...). Maybe it's just that I have so many balls in the air right now--the new book, work, school, Twitter. And there's the cold weather like a slow bleed, draining my sparkle.

In any case, I'll try to do better.


Don't Know Where She Gets It

Georgia calls me this afternoon from her car. I'm sitting in the college cafeteria, waiting for my 5:00 class to start.

George: Ugh! I hate going straight from work to the gym and having to change clothes there!

TR: Why don't you go home, decompress, change, and THEN go to the gym?

George: No, then Manny will get all excited I'm home and I'll feel bad for leaving him again.

(Sound of her parking, turning off the ignition)

George: Oh my god, it's so crowded! It's ridiculous! All these people I've never seen before--In three weeks they'll be at home, sitting on their asses, watching The Biggest Loser, and eating Pringles--so much for their resolutions. In the meantime, I can't get on the treadmill.

TR: I know. It's the same at the Y. I hate it. They should have special hours for people who join in January. An initiation....So I have two back-to-back classes tonight and they're across campus from each other. I don't know if I can hoof it in 15 minutes.

George: Can't you drive?

TR: It would take me longer to drive and find another parking space.

George: But you wouldn't be walking in the cold. Hey, I gotta go.

TR: OK. Love you. Have a great day.

George: You too.


From Monday's Poetry Daily, a poem by Mark Jarman

Good God

Instead of casting them out of paradise,
Instead of making them labor in pain and sweat,
Instead of instilling tristesse after coitus,
Instead of giving them fire to burn their house down

And light their way into the outer world,

He could have split them, each with a memory of the other,
And put them each into a separate world.


I Can't WAIT to Pick Lola Up From School Today!

Best Thing To Do On A Tuesday Night

NEXT Tuesday, January 12 @ 7:30 p.m., Tara Betts, Travis Denton, and I will be reading at the Decatur Library. More info here or here.


Best Late-Night Freakiness

I woke up around 2 a.m. to discover my husband was not in bed. Naturally, like any good wife, I was worried about him, so I went directly to the computer room to assure myself that he was safe. He was there, all right, immersed in Google Sketch-Up, an activity that involves little risk, so I went back to sleep.

When he finally got up around noon today, he was very excited to show me the mausoleum he designed for himself and Daisy.



Biggie and I celebrated New Year's Eve at Serpas, which was named one of the country's "ten best new restaurants" in one of my husband's lame metrosexual magazines. GQ, I think--the one with Rihanna's boobs on the front. That's Ree-onna, by the way, so don't make the mistake of calling her Ree-anna. At least not in front of anyone in my family. All you'll hear is Reee-yann-naaa, along with references to Powder Springs, for the next three months.

Anyway, the restaurant was lovely, lots of glass and twinkly lights, and the food was excellent. I had a New York strip with french horn mushrooms(!), tiny eggplants, and tinier potatoes. Biggy had the pork shoulder with smoked cheese grits and sauteed greens. I had to eat his greens, of course, because, well, they're green.

The room was full of beautiful young people wearing expensive shoes and bustiers. More and more, I feel out of place in public. I've always felt like an outside observer, but the condition is getting worse. I guess I'll start wearing purple and all of that.


Day One of the New Year

Just so you know, I've been lying on the couch since 5:30, eating sugar-free ice cream and watching TLC's line-up of shows about super-obesity. Best way to start 2010.

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Writer, teacher, student, mom.

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