Straight From the Handbook

Sunday night, Biggy and I had a serious sit-down with Jack. We were actually standing in the kitchen while he put about $18 worth of blackberries in the blender to make himself a smoothie, but whatever. We needed to lay down some new ground rules for summer, which included breaking the bad news:

Biggy: You need to find a job.

Jack: How can I work?! I've got summer school, drum line practice, judo...

TR: Hello! We were in band and we had jobs. Not to mention, I ran track, was in Beta Club, kept score for the JV basketball team, and still managed to fit in an impressive amount of binging-and-purging.

Jack: Well, I have a life.

Biggy: Here's your life: First of all, you sleep till 11. And then you go to school, which lasts until, what, 2:00?

Jack: 2:30.

Biggy: Right.

Jack: Anyway, there's nowhere around here for me to work.

TR: You could bag groceries at Publix.


TR: It's good enough for your friend Ian.

Jack: He's Canadian.

TR: Figure it out. You've got three weeks to get a job. Be ready to start as soon as summer school's out.

So, this morning at 7, as I'm getting ready for work, my cell phone rings. It's Jack, calling from his bed: "Could you leave me some gas money?"


Kathy said...

So workout clothes/wedge heel cougar opportunity isn't enough to get Jack to change his mind about working at Publix?

Anonymous said...

T & B should have made sure J had a job line up a month ago. If he cant find work, I'm sure there are plenty of voulunteer needs in your community.

Tania Rochelle said...

There are plenty of volunteer opportunities here at home.

mamoo said...

i need some limbs cut off a few of my trees. but....does he know what a saw looks like?

that was mean. poor jack.

Harpy said...

Publix was the best job of my life.

Thomas said...

He's Canadian.
He's got a point here.

Collin Kelley said...

Poor, poor Jack.

Anonymous said...

Classic example of why our Country is falling apart. The American youth are being surpassed by the Chineese, Indians, Germans, and every other hard working ethnic group. I hope this is your last experience with summer school. Learn now Jack or you'll be working at Publix for the rest of your life.

Tania Rochelle said...

Classic example of an anonymous blog troll.

Thomas said...

Kind of a good one though, you gotta admit. Any guesses? But I don't think that the Germans are exceeding us. Hey Jack, learn Cantonese and you'll get all the work you want. Damn, mine's been sleeping till 4 some days! Says he needs this last summer off before college; anon is somewhat right though, culture destruction abounds.

Anonymous said...

Dear Anon,
Please keep any direct comments regarding Jack to yourself, or you may find my foot up your @##.

Aunt Joye

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