Who Ruined My Couch

Please-please-please!

Fay wants to play:

Animal Cruelty

Everyone knows that Tania loves her animals...all 10 of them! Count 'em...the turtle, the gecko, the bird, two dwarf hamsters, two guinea pigs and the three dogs, Fay Fay, Stella, and Daisy. She feeds them and gives them treats and lovin'. And every time I am left with the duties of watching the animals, Biggy always thinks that I treat Daisy (his favorite) horribly, and this is so not true! I let her snuggle in bed with me. I play with her and the other dogs. But there is one thing I won't let her do...

This is what I call cruel:


Letting the dogs lick my mouth....GROSS!

Interpretation

I read Biggy his horoscope for today:

TR: It says here that your most significant relationship requires avid attention.

Biggy: I give Daisy plenty of attention. I even took her with me to the barber shop this morning.

Squatter's Rights

Daisy refuses to remove her fat arse from Fay's bed.

Daisy Didn't Get to Go Camping

Timing is Everything

Every morning, Greg and Lo take Daisy to the bus stop with them to hang out with the 10 or 12 parents and children waiting for Miss Ginger to arrive. Then Greg comes back to repeat some gem of truth one of the kids said that gives us insight into the lives of our neighbors--things like, "Our water got turned off" or "My daddy sleeps on the couch."

Today, though, both Biggy and Daisy returned with looks of shame on their faces, and Biggy told me, "Daisy decided to take care of business down there--right in front of everybody. If that wasn't bad enough, it reeked worse than Uncle Billy after Thanksgiving dinner. And if THAT wasn't bad enough, Lola had to observe--very loudly, 'Look, Dad, it's really BIG.'"