Poison Control

When my first-batch kids were little, I spent half my time on the phone with poison control. It got to the point where they'd answer my call, "What is it this time, Mrs. B____?" There was the day I'd sprinkled cleanser all over the toilet seat and left my cleaning to answer the phone, returning to find Sadie with a Comet beard and mustache...the time Jack drank fabric softener, the night I gave Georgia a big spoonful of children's Tylenol that was actually pink baby shampoo I'd put in the sample-sized bottle when we went on vacation. My angels ate everything from Palmetto bugs and dog food to Vaseline and baby powder. I, myself, was known for confusing teaspoons with tablespoons when taking my own OTC meds for colds, so I'd end up taking triple doses.

But it has been years since I've had to make that call. Until today. Note--everything in parens is what I thought but did not actually say:

PC: Georgia Poison Control; how can I help you?

TR: Well, this is probably a new one for you...I have a chihuahua with Addison's disease, and I have to give her prednisone every day for it. Just now, when I tried to give her the 2-3 cc's from a dropper, I had it pressed against her gums by mistake and it sort of exploded and went straight into my eye. The whole dose--right into my tear duct...

PC: How does your eye feel?

TR: I rinsed it with water, and it doesn't feel too bad, but I'm not worried about my eyeball. I just don't know what the steroid is going to do once it gets in my system. (Will it cause weight gain?)

PC: That's not going to happen--at least not enough to be toxic. We'd be more concerned about your eye. Did you flush it good? Does it hurt?

TR: I flushed. It stings some, but I can still see. (Besides, I have another eye. What I don't have is much time before swimsuit season.) You're sure I won't have any side effects from the prednisone? (My fingers feel like they're swelling, my neck looks thicker...)

PC: No, no. Even a small child would have to take a lot more than 3 cc's for there to be any effects. Just check your eye and reassess in about 45 minutes. And call me back if there are any problems.

**My eye hurts like hell, by the way.


Collin Kelley said...

I know what I'm getting you for Christmas -- goggles.

Nicholas said...

Maybe just that one eye will get BIGGER.

Kathy said...

A slightly bigger eye won't affect the bathing suit fit at all. Think you need to go to dr tomorrow if eye still hurts though.

Montgomery Maxton said...

I still have an prescript eye drop that I got when I touched a toilet seat in public then touched my eye and it swelled up. I could FedEx overnight it. Of course this is illegal, but who cares.

Tania Rochelle said...

Thanks for the kind support, my friends.

But MM, I could have gone the rest of my life without hearing that story.

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