The Bert Show Blows in a Storm

Because of the monsoon here in Marietta, I had to take JackMan to school today. (When he drives his big boy car, he has to park about 3/4 a mile away at a friend's house.) On the way, I had the radio turned to Q100, as always in the morning.

TR: Wow, they really crack themselves up, don't they?

Jack: Do you listen to the Bert Show just so you can hate on 'em?

TR: Yeah.

(beat)

(beat)

TR: Do you hear that cackle?! Doesn't Melissa's laugh make you want to pull all your hair out?

Jack: Pretty much.

TR: It's like biting into aluminum foil.

(beat)

TR: Let's count the grammatical mistakes. Last week, she said the drinking age was RISEN instead of RAISED. Like Jesus.

In the Car With Biggy

On the way to the airport:

TR: Did you listen to the Bert Show yesterday morning?

Biggy: NO. Why?

TR: It was a "best of." I swear, they don't work more than they do. Anyway, I turned on just in time to hear a re-run of "Annie," the stupid 13-year-old they have on to give advice. What do they think it is, Radio Disney? It was boring enough the first time. Like, like, like....

Biggy: You know how, when you bite into a food you hate, you don't go back for seconds--

TR: --Yeah, yeah, well, I turned it to the The Real Guys, but that was like listening to three Jeff Daulers. Idiots.

Biggy: That show is FUNNY.

TR: No, THEY think they're funny. They crack themselves up. Just like Jeff. Ugh!

Biggy: MEN think they're funny. Trust me.

TR: No, 14-year-old boys think they're funny. Not smart boys, either. The kind of boys who light their farts.

Biggy: Well, I guess I have a 14-year-old's mentality.

TR: Exactly. Hey, I ran into my old AA sponsor at Publix the other night.

Biggy: Did she have alcohol on her breath?

TR: (stares out the window.)

Biggy: What did you WANT me to say?!

TR: You didn't have to say anything! It was just nice to see her.

Biggy: Did y'all do the secret handshake?

How Much Fun Am I Going to Have With This?

This was on the Q100 website today (I read their lousy blog--I know!).

Forget taking them on vacation, forget the exotic locales. I'm taking them places I consider more appropriate, starting here:



You can get it for yourselves here.

The Bert Show Blows For Someone Else

Did one of you guys do this?

The Bert Show Blows

As I've written before, I have a love/hate relationship with Q100. After Melissa Carter did the news this morning, reporting that "the officer catched the baby" in her account of this story, listeners were subjected to a snoozy twenty minutes of their collective expertise on the subject of depression. I really need to subscribe to XM radio.