My Homophobic Guys

I get home one recent afternoon, and Biggy and JackMan are both sitting on the end of my bed, glued to the TV, watching The Hills, ragging on the guys in this particular episode:

Biggy: What's up with those sunglasses?

JackMan: No kidding. Those are so gay.

Biggy: You think they know how gay they look?

JackMan: God, they're gay.

Did I mention this was The Hills they were watching?

And have I also mentioned how sick I am of hearing Biggy go around singing his current favorite song, Fergie's Big Girls Don't Cry. He does it in a horrible falsetto and brags about how the song is perfectly in his range. In the car, he makes everyone shut up whenever it comes on--especially when she gets to the "I'm gonna miss you like a child misses her blanket" part, which apparently touches his tender soul.

Both of these things are way worse than his asking for Wet-Naps.


How could I have mistaken The Hills for Newport Harbour?


biggy said...

First- Wrong Show. We were watching Newport Harbor.
Second- The glasses the guys were wearing did make them look gay, not that there's anything wrong with that, unless you claim to be straight.
Third-Jack asked me to watch it with him.
Fourth- It's a good song. I make no apologies.

Anonymous said...

Spencer, on The Hills, is mos def gay. Maybe he will deal with this before he marries Heidi.

Laguna Beach was much better than Newport Beach!!

Collin said...

Poor Gay Jack and Biggy.

Rupert said...

but sometimes [yes, T - playing the "guy-card" again ;)] . . .
that expression can be funny and non-homophobic . . . like at Lisa's wedding where 2 Irish Setters came out as the ring-bearers, one of us said, "That is sooooo gay," - and we all got the giggles for the rest of the service
poor gators gonna lose two in a row - get out the hankies, lmao

Tracie said...

I was gonna say, who wears gay glasses on The Hills?? They all are so paid, everything is probably given to them to wear anyway.

But since it's been cleared up that they were watching Newport Harbor...nuff said. They're still in high school, we all wore bad things in high school.

Lastly, Chrissy and I hate...HATE that part on that Fergie song...it just doesn't go with the melody to me - it seems forced. But hey...I bought the album.

ktothefe said...

I'll have to check the manual, but I didn't know we had to wear glasses too...

Fergie: To be honest, Biggy's FJ Cruiser forgives him of all wrong doing. Sorry T, I don't make the rules. That said, that song makes my ears bleed.

Finally, can we please find a new adjective to describe things that are odd or that suck without bringing in sexual preferences?

Tania Rochelle said...

I agree completely, ktothefe. The problem is--how else are the homophobes gonna prove they're NOT gay?

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