Now That We're Home

Conversation in the driveway:

TR: Mamoo and Granny are coming over for dinner. I'm going to fix bar-b-q.

Biggy: What time? I've got to ride my bike sometime today. (Pinches waist) I weighed 189.6 this morning, and I should have weighed 187.

TR: You think those scales are off? 'Cause I can't figure out how I GAINED weight this week. I didn't eat that much, except for when we went to the Shrimp Shack--and the last night, when I had seconds on biscuits and the stuffed tomato things...

Biggy: Tania, you eat a LOT. Every time we go out, all those fries...

TR: THAT'S ONCE A WEEK! The rest of the time, I eat about 1500 calories a day, and I exercise.

Biggy: Walking three miles isn't really exercise.

TR: FIRST of all, I jog most of it. And at the beach, I jogged AND rode my bike.

Biggy: So what are you thinking--(mockingly) a thyroid problem?

TR: No, a tumor. My mom had one when she was my age. The size of a grapefruit.

Biggy: (His expression reflects he's just thought of something clever.) ...uh. Never mind.

TR: WHAT? What were you going to say?

Biggy: Nothing.


Biggy: You could lose two pounds today if you cut your hair.

TR: ...

Biggy: You know that was funny.

TR: ...

Biggy: Where are you going?

TR: To pack.


Collin said...

Cousin It...is that you?

Kathy said...

Biggy - walking 3 miles is too exercise.

T - Why in the hell would you step on a scale after a week at the beach? Always give yourself a 2-3 day scale grace period post vacation.

Tania Rochelle said...

Kathy, that's how positive I was I'd LOST weight! I was excited to see how much.

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