1.01.2007

Rubbing It In



To all of you who are starting the year with the usual hangover, I just wanted to say, I FEEL FANTASTIC!

When I quit drinking almost two-and-a-half years ago, I went through some difficult days (months)--especially the first year. I missed the taste, the escape, the old party-girl me. But I didn't miss the blackouts, the "haunts," or the always-anxious sense of entitlement I felt each night to "clock out" on my family and disappear into a goblet of wine.

Once I got over the shock of actually feeling my feelings, I began to enjoy the living, even the hard work of building real relationships. But occasionally--say, at the beach with a cooler of Coronas at arm's reach, or at a nice restaurant where the stem glasses sparkled on the tables, I would feel that longing again.

The way I got through it was by telling myself that if I ever woke up in the morning and wished I had drunk the night before, I'd start drinking again. I looked forward to that day too--couldn't wait to regret not drinking. But it hasn't happened yet.

Just like today, I always wake up happy that I made it through another tiki bar, another disappointment, another New Year's Eve.

No headache, no nausea, no guilt--and the sun shining bright as a bottle.

Happy New Year, Y'all!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

i too, played the game of dry county. and then i slept in. and even now, i'm pretending i'm still asleep so that i'm not bothered by family.

pretty soon i'll get back in the car and drive back to oklahoma where we'll all wish we were wasted and some of us will be.

Anonymous said...

I don't drink any more either, as all it does for me these days is lead to even more waving of the migraine fairy's wand. So I made out with my dog on my couch, and then, suddenly, in between the episodes of That Girl I'd Tivo-ed, it was a brand new year! Here's hoping 2007 is badass for you and yours!

M. Ru Pere said...

I toast your strength and smarts, T, - Happy New year to you and Biggy and all the cartoon characters of the Stone's Dream

Alena said...

There was no drunkenness in the icy tundra. We played it good and clean, blowing things up.

Happy 2007!

Anonymous said...

Well la-di-da! No, I'm kidding. I didn't feel too bad despite drinking what surely was 15 beers. blame the southern rock. My ears are toast, however. Don't suppose they're related.

ktothefe said...

way to go! i applaud your strength and self-love. Being emotionally aware of yourself can be a difficult task, especially when turning yourself off is the answer for all things difficult. congrats!

a/ok said...

Happy New Year!

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