2.18.2007

Brokeback Saturday Night


Miss George and JackMan are both on school trips, and Biggy took Lola to the circus (I'd rather trade hair with Donald Trump than go to the circus), so I had the whole house to myself after 5:00 yesterday. I had big plans to go to Blockbuster to get a couple of movies Greg would never watch with me (even though I saw Jackass I and II) and to eat Publix fried chicken in bed while I watched them.

I never wanted to see Brokeback Mountain in the theatre. I just had a feeling it would be a renter. But I've been meaning to rent it ever since it came out on DVD, especially since I love that one line from the movie, and it seems I have no right to it if I haven't done the time. Well, I earned the right. I hated it too! I remember seeing a spoof--Saturday Night Live, maybe?--where they kept replaying clips of the sheep going up the mountain, and back down the mountain....up the mountain...down the mountain....That about sums it up.

Beautiful scenery does not a beautiful movie make. Hot boys do not an exciting movie make. Risky themes do not a smart movie make. I found it tedious, ponderous, downright dull. I kept thinking, There's a reason this was a SHORT STORY. It reminded me of the 1979 movie Tess, another epic bore that offered nothing but bucolic scenery and pretty faces.

Next time I have the house to myself, I'm renting The Hours, without high hopes.

In the meantime, dear readers, I can't quit you.

23 comments:

debbie millman said...

hey tanya! the hours is soooo much better than brokeback. but make sure you have tissues--or extra napkins from the publix chicken (jealous! there are no publix in nyc).

Anonymous said...

I guess you've never been in love ?! Sad!

Tania Rochelle said...

Yeah, that's it.

MCALDWELLC said...

The only thing really special about brokeback is 2 hot straight guys having gay sex. I just saw Prairie Home Companion and Little Miss Sunshine...enjoyed them both.

Collin said...

I was accused of being a bad gay when I voiced my negativity about Bareback Mountain. I thought it was a bore and the themes have been explored in better films than this ("My Beautiful Laundrette" with Daniel Day Lewis the prime example).

"The Hours" is a beautiful film, esp. Nicole Kidman's complete transformation into Virginia Woolf.

Tania Rochelle said...

Mary, I thought the sex scenes were ruined by the heavy-handed repetition of the let's-punch-and-push-each-other approach to showing their conflicting emotions about their desire. As if we didn't get it the first time.

And Collin, it's not that you're a bad gay; you've just never been in love. Sad.

Kathy said...

I know we agree on alot of movies (Pure Country - hee, hee), but I really liked Brokeback Mountain. It was definitely slow in parts, but I thought the scenery was beautiful and acting well above average, especially the scenes with Alma and Ennis with his daughter. It may also have been that I saw it in a beautiful old theatre all by myself with a big tub of popcorn and a diet coke.

Alena said...

That anonymous comment really, really annoys me.

Dave said...

I guess on thing that's happened to American movie goers is that unless a movie has jaw-dropping action and pumping adrinline from the opening scenes, it just goes "too slow"....Brokeback is in fact a movie that plays best on the big screen or a really top end home theater...you hear it better, you see it better....maybe its not a great film, but it certainly deserves many of its awards. And like someone else here said.....you have to have loved and lost to really appreciate this one. Great acting and great directing....too bad so many folks miss its subtle points.

Anne-Davnes said...

Not to leave a turd in the punch bowl... but I hated The Hours. Tedious and oh.... I fell asleep. Color palette was nice, though.

Tania Rochelle said...

Considering some of my favorite movies are Damage, House of the Spirits, and Magnolia, I hardly think it takes jaw-dropping action to please me.

As far as the ad hominem 'Dislike of Brokeback=Never Been in Love,' that's the same logic as:

A fire engine is red. Tania's hair is red. Therefore, Tania is a fire engine.

Feel free to go back to the Brokeback fan site. Or to Dictionary.com for a spelling refresher.

k said...

Well I LOVED the Hours and I never want to see Brokeback Mountain. I guess that means that love is a fire truck.

Blue said...

"You have to have loved and lost to really appreciate this one." ?!?!? That's funny. Dave and Anon must not know you. Horrible acting,( except for Michelle Williams, Roberta Maxwell and Peter McRobbie)Bad Directing. Brokeback Sucked! My favorite movie is The Sound of Music!

ktothefe said...

I hate all gay movies. they're all the same!! 2 guys caught in forbidden love bla bla fucking bla!
I don't think I'll ever see Brokeback, though I could imagine the Porn-version Bareback Mountain to be much more engaging! As for the Hours--that movie got me through 2003. I own it if you'd ever like to borrow it!

A said...

T- I think you should post this comments section. I guess I must not know love either because I thought Brokeback sucked and was daydreaming about H and M's married Booklyn baby life the whole time. Also- just saw Bridge to Teribethia (sucked), but the class bully looked (I think) identical to a young 4th grade Biggy? I could be wrong, but it brought a bit of comedy to the otherwise sad sack film with not enough treehouses! So there.

M. Ru Pere said...

I loved Brokeback - one of the few flicks where "the years" really did seem to go by with a sense of loss

Not only did i love the Hours, but I love M Doty's poem, The Hours - a poem about the making of a movie based on a book that was based on another book

Jackass I AND II?

Anonymous said...

i loved brokeback mountain, primarily due to heath ledger. i would enjoy most anything he is in, not based on acting ability, but looks only. i keep trying to explain this to my husband, but he doesnt get it. some actors, especially matthew mccinaughey, dont require acting skills. it is more than enough to just look at them for a couple of hours.
anyway, on to more important things. has anyone heard from ms. georgia? is she okay? having fun?

Anonymous said...

matthew mcconaughey that is

Tania Rochelle said...

That's how I feel about Clive Owen.

When Georgia called, she wasn't having such a great time in Spain. Her host "family" turned out to be a single woman who left to go visit her boyfriend as soon as Georgia and her classmate got there. Nothing like being left alone in a stranger's apartment in a foreign country...

We expect that to be rectified today.

Anonymous said...

oh yeah, him as well. i'll sleep when i'm dead and closer. yum!!

Anonymous said...

well hopefully things will turn around for her and she will start to enjoy herself and have fun. i am glad she arrived safely.

Tania Rochelle said...

Oh, and by the way: Kathy and M Ru, you both liked Brokeback? That must mean you're in love with each other.

Nicholas said...

I am so dissapointed about all the negative brokeback comments. How about the significance of the story, filmed so well, in a genre that has been historically shit. Like the fact that my step dad, in indiana saw it, and was touched...regardless it was a beautiful film.
and i loved the hours as well...however i dont think that is a good film for you (tania( to be viewing alone...

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