The World is Full of Wonders

Last weekend I discovered two reality shows I hadn't seen yet. I caught up on laundry and a few episodes of Juvies Saturday afternoon. The only way I could justify watching TV for so long was if I was being "productive," so I suddenly felt the need to fold the towels into six-inch squares and everyone's undies into neat little triangles. I watched as a 17-yr-old runaway answered the judge's questions at her hearing:

Judge: You ran away to be with your boyfriend?

Girl: Yeah.

Judge: How old is he?

Girl: 19.

Judge: Does he go to school?

Girl: No.

Judge: Does he have a job?

Girl: Nope.

Judge: And he sells drugs?

Girl: Um, yeah.

Judge: What do you see in him?

Girl: *Shrug*

Judge: He's not in school, he doesn't have a job, he deals drugs... Is he cute?

Girl: Not really, no.

Judge: *Priceless expression*

The judge, a very fair lady as I'd learned in the previous couple of hours, determined the teen could go home under the condition she have no contact whatsoever with Prince Charming. Back in her cell to pack up, the crying girl told one of her new friends, "I can't see him anymore...She said because he doesn't go to school or have a job, and he sells drugs."

Friends response? Utter indignation: "I can't BELIEVE that!"

Around the time I finished rolling socks into perfect cylinders, I saw a commercial for Engaged & Underage and decided everyone's sheets needed to be washed.

And just when I thought I'd seen it all...

What do you think the 19-year-old virgin's future mother-in-law gave her--on the night before her wedding? A strand of pearls? Grandma's silver tea service? The TALK?

Oh no. Viewers got to watch the mom-in-law give the girl her very first bikini wax.

I wouldn't even let my mother-in-law (the first or second) ask me a question through the bathroom door while I shower. Ick.

In the post-show follow-up, "One month later," we learned that Jacob and Chantel were having some money problems, so they invested in an RV and were living in it in his parents' yard. Shocker.

Reality TV is like giant sea worms and furry lobsters; there's always something else out there you never dreamed existed.


Anne-Davnes said...


i bet chantel's mother was the type who dressed her like a miniature tart as soon as she could walk.

Tania Rochelle said...

On the contrary, Anne. It was church five times a week.

Alena said...

I am absolutely terrified to click on "furry lobsters." Lobsters are kind of scary as is.

biggy said...

You didn't know this, but Mamoo and I shared this same experience the night before our wedding.

Tania Rochelle said...

Alena--I think the furry lobster looks like it would make a cool purse.

Biggy--The older you get, the more disgusting...

Collin said...

Too much MTV will rot your brain, T.

Did you see the episode of Juvies with the guy with one arm?

MAMOO said...

greg, we did WHAT??????

Roger said...

isn't it great?

biggy said...

Mamoo, you gave me a bikini wax before my wedding night. Don't pretend you forgot.

Tania Rochelle said...

Biggy, you know good and well that the night before our wedding, you were painting the swingset white so we could use it as an archway.

Jennifer said...

Did Mamoo use hard or soft wax, Biggy? I find the hard wax much less painful myself.

biggy said...

Jennifer, I totally concur. The hard wax has much better grip, leaving much more smoothness as a result.

Tania Rochelle said...

Whatever. Like Biggy could handle the pain of waxing. He needs morphine to change a bandaid.

Blue said...

I HATE the judge on Juvies! She's so is NOT fair. The kids who are really bad and need to stay, she sends home and the really good kids have to stay or get put on probation. I cry every time I watch that stupid show.....but I can't stop watching it!

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