Last weekend I discovered two reality shows I hadn't seen yet. I caught up on laundry and a few episodes of Juvies Saturday afternoon. The only way I could justify watching TV for so long was if I was being "productive," so I suddenly felt the need to fold the towels into six-inch squares and everyone's undies into neat little triangles. I watched as a 17-yr-old runaway answered the judge's questions at her hearing:
Judge: You ran away to be with your boyfriend?
Judge: How old is he?
Judge: Does he go to school?
Judge: Does he have a job?
Judge: And he sells drugs?
Girl: Um, yeah.
Judge: What do you see in him?
Judge: He's not in school, he doesn't have a job, he deals drugs... Is he cute?
Girl: Not really, no.
Judge: *Priceless expression*
The judge, a very fair lady as I'd learned in the previous couple of hours, determined the teen could go home under the condition she have no contact whatsoever with Prince Charming. Back in her cell to pack up, the crying girl told one of her new friends, "I can't see him anymore...She said because he doesn't go to school or have a job, and he sells drugs."
Friends response? Utter indignation: "I can't BELIEVE that!"
Around the time I finished rolling socks into perfect cylinders, I saw a commercial for Engaged & Underage and decided everyone's sheets needed to be washed.
And just when I thought I'd seen it all...
What do you think the 19-year-old virgin's future mother-in-law gave her--on the night before her wedding? A strand of pearls? Grandma's silver tea service? The TALK?
Oh no. Viewers got to watch the mom-in-law give the girl her very first bikini wax.
I wouldn't even let my mother-in-law (the first or second) ask me a question through the bathroom door while I shower. Ick.
In the post-show follow-up, "One month later," we learned that Jacob and Chantel were having some money problems, so they invested in an RV and were living in it in his parents' yard. Shocker.
Reality TV is like giant sea worms and furry lobsters; there's always something else out there you never dreamed existed.