5.26.2006

Friday Nostalgia



In 1979, when I was 17, I worked at Six Flags (Yes, Youth Prison Camp). I started out on "grounds," walking around with a broom and a dustpan. I opted for this position because it kept me close to the stage outside the Chevy Show, where my boyfriend's band, Toledo, played Chicago covers all day. I could keep a close eye on him while I was sweeping up cigarette butts and dreamsicle sticks. I put up with people spitting on me from the cable cars overhead okay, but the first time I was handed a shaker can of some stuff that looked like cat litter and instructed to clean up vomit, I demanded a transfer. I wanted a job where I could use my brains, I told them, so they put me at the front gate, selling tickets. There I sat all alone in a little glass booth, counting the minutes along with the pennies. Eventually, I dreamed up ways to keep myself entertained--little one act plays, starring George Washington and Andrew Jackson; changing the lyrics to songs to make them dirty (sometimes it only took altering two letters, as in my classic version of the Lionel Richie song, I Do Love You...Stiff); and one of my favorites, telling the little boys who wore Farrah tees that the shirts weren't allowed because they were considered inappropriate (you probably could have worn crotchless panties and a headdress into the park as long as you paid the admission). I'd tell them this after their moms had driven out of sight (this before cell phones), and they'd try not to cry, asking me what they should do. Then I'd offer the only possible solution in my sweetest big-sisterly voice: "You'll have to turn it inside out, and don't let security see you or they'll arrest you." These were 8- to 10-year-olds, mind you. Man, I miss that fun.

6 comments:

minus five said...

this is why i love high school jobs so much. you could get away with murder because nobody cares.

i still make up lies to little kids. even without a job as an excuse. do you think this is bad?

thanks for posting a friday nostalgia that i could relate to.

aud said...

I sure can't relate to Farrah, but I can relate to the stupid h.s jobs. I first worked at bill millers bbq, where I would separate the thighs from the drumsticks and occasionally stir the bbq chop so that the grease wouldnt settle at the top. I eventually moved to the drive through giving out free pies.

I also worked at the ghetto waterpark "Splashtown." I did my best to look important as a lifeguard knowing the entire time I had no idea how to perform cpr. I loved the idea that everyone relied on me to tell them when they could make their way down the slide. Sometimes, I would send people down too soon just to see them crash into the person before them.

I did come out with a nice tan though.

Tania Rochelle said...

Audrey, you just reminded me that we need to ask Sarah to write a blog about her most recent high school job and how she feels about being a cashier. It's fascinating stuff.

You've also got me thinking about my other terrible hs jobs and mean activities--of which there are aplenty.

MCALDWELLC said...

For my high-school job, I worked at Gold's Gym.
The assholes I worked for were born-again Christians...one of the guys told me that I "had the devil in my eyes...." I took that as a compliment and made it my mission to tell all of the gay and black members that they were being charged more for their gym memberships simply because they were gay or black.

I only worked there so that I could get a free membership. But I did take a special pleasure in telling all of the members how fucked up the business ethics were of the owners...I think I made an impact, even if it was small.

minus five said...

i know tania; i had flashbacks of so many jobs i had when i was reading your entry. there are so many good stories to choose from that i don't know where to start.

the virgin was a pretty sweet gig, but one of my favorites was when i worked at hobby lobby. i was banned from using the intercom.

maybe i'll start bringing my high school job stories in with my shart stories.

yeah, i think your mom would like that. i think biggy would too.

Collin said...

Ah, Farrah in the famous red bathing suit. One of my last few female crushes. Who would have thought that hairstyle would ever come back into vogue.

My worst h.s. job was working the concession stand at Grant Park over a summer. Talk about some whiny, bratty children.

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