Tree, Acorn, and All That....

(This afternoon, Georgia called me):

Georgia: You never told me that when you get a pap test, they pull something OUT of you!!

TR: They just go in there with a cotton swab, George.

Georgia: Not according to K. She just got back from the doctor, where she was traumatized. They pulled out a hunk of her flesh and then said it wasn't big enough and went back and got another.

TR: They must have been doing a biopsy. Maybe they saw something odd. I mean, no one has ever done that to me.

(The conversation went on for a few more minutes before my daughter cut me off.)

Georgia: Well, I told her I'd asked you if that was normal and call her back.

(I got off the phone wondering if times had changed or if I could have blocked out something like that. A little later, I received an email from George with the transcript of the girls' next conversation):

K: Hey, what are you doing?

Georgia: Just got out of class early, waiting for another one at 2, you?

K: Absolutely nothing. I've been watching t.v all day, How did that conversation go with your mom??

Georgia: She said I need to Google Pap Smear because what you got was NOT a pap smear. She was astounded by the tweezing bit.

K: ewwww! Don't google it! Maybe it was called a culture sample....But I thought everyone did that...OMG if I didn't need that!

Georgia: She said shes never heard of that, and I got second AND third opinions who have never heard of that either. Your doctor is a sadist....

K: I'm so mad..I got molested by my gyno!

Georgia: and tweezed!!

K: Georgia! I don't want to have the same doctor anymore, she didn't even NEED to do that at all!! She just wanted to! She TOLD me that, shes is a FREAK, whyy me?!?!

Georgia: Why did she do it then?....more importantly, why did you LET her?!

K: I told her I didn;t want her to, and she was like, well it wouldnt hurt to just get it examined, and i didnt think that she would TWEEZE me!

Georgia: I think if your gyno gets enjoyment out of your pain and humiliation, its time to try another one on for size.

K: Seriously, and i STILL havent had my period, I have to call her today. Why cant my body be normal so I dont need to keep going back there? It will be my FOURTH time!

Georgia: Well, never is better than every two weeks... unless you're harvesting a fetus...

K:...God I hope thats not whats happening....

Georgia: God me too!

K: You should probably go, every two weeks is just not....right...

G: After your traumas!? No, way, I don't want my vag tweezed


Blaise said...

i think i just offended ~30 christian rockers when i laughed out loud while reading this. it just so happened to perfectly synch up with the singer's voice cracking as he reached a high note...little do they know

Tania Rochelle said...

Given what we went through at the dermatologist, I imagine George will need general anesthesia here.

biggy said...

um, the Thrashers won tonight. Supposed to be cold tomorrow. Jack's performance is at 4 on Saturday. The proforma on my project ain't mashing.

e! said...

I personally have never, ummm, been tweezed or heard of anyone being tweezed...so I am curious why this procedure is being practiced?

And why is this girl going to the gyno every 2 weeks? Every six months to a year is hard to deal with let alone every two weeks....

Collin said...

It's this kind of post that makes me appreciate more and more that I'm strictly dickly.

Tania Rochelle said...

No, E!, one girl's Aunt Flo visits every two weeks, and the other one's aunt won't visit at all.

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