She Reads My Blog, Which Was Warning Enough

So when E!--and that's what we'll call her, because she'll be good for our entertainment--came into my office last quarter and said she was thinking of taking some time off from school, because what with working her restaurant job while trying to do things such as branding the entire Olympics, creating a scale model restaurant, designing and writing a children's book, and re-setting the type for the entire book of Genesis, she was feeling a bit overwhelmed, I told her to buck up.

Where there's a will there's a way, I platituded, to which she responded that she had considered everything, exhausted every possibility; she couldn't keep up with both school and finances. And when I came back with, "Well, until you ask if you can live at my house, I'll have to assume you haven't thought of everything," I imagined that would get her brain in gear. She sure didn't need to drop out this close to the finish. It would be like dropping out of the Iron Man with 1/2 a mile to go.

It was quite the challenge I issued, really. I figured that flipping pancakes at Huddle House and living in their broom closet would be more appealing than staying with us. So I expected she'd come up with a plan, or she'd puss out and quietly vanish. But E! had more fortitude than I gave her credit for. She really does want to graduate. Right now, she's sitting at the table in the sun room, laptop in the slime of hamburger casserole, elbows in the Oreo crumbs, doing her homework.

God help her.

No doubt, this will make her somewhat of a celebrity at school--a la a Fear Factor or Rock of Love contestant. When E! told instructor Melissa about the arrangement, Melissa was so astonished, she yelled, "With HER?!" pointing at me as I tucked my chin and skulked toward the stairs. True story. Anyway, don't be asking E! what REALLY goes on here. She's sworn to secrecy.
And she's way too busy to gossip.

But I am not.