Another Deep Dinnertime Discussion

Georgia's beau braved the family meal with us Sunday night. You'd think we'd have at least stabbed at "company" small talk and good manners. A little context for the actual conversation: JackMan's friend J had spent the night on Saturday.

TR: Hey, Jack, why did you make J sleep in the basement on that crappy futon? Your bed's big enough for both of you.

Jack: He was fine.

TR: You still didn't answer my question. You have a brand new, big, comfortable bed.

Jack: It's not that big.

Biggy: It wouldn't matter if it was [sic] a king-sized. We don't do that.

TR: What do you mean--'do that'--

Jack: Guys don't sleep in the same bed!

TR: Oh, c'mon. Blaise?

Blaise: It's true. After a certain age.

TR: Oh my God. Y'all are so homophobic. What--are you afraid that while you're sleeping, it's going to find it's way into the nearest orifice without your knowing?!

Georgia: Exactly!

TR: Blaise, you really wouldn't sleep in the same bed with a friend of yours?

Blaise: I've had to before.

Jack: Key words being 'had to.' When you didn't have a choice.

Blaise: But we did the pillow thing.

(Boy nods all around.)

TR: Which is?

Blaise (looking at me as though I'd asked him what the first letter of the alphabet is): You know, one pillow between you under the covers and another one between, on top.

Biggy: The barricade.

Jack: To make sure you don't touch.

Blaise: Or the head-to-feet thing.

TR: You have GOT to be kidding.

Biggy: We're not like you. It's not like we're going to talk.

TR: No pillow talk?

Georgia: Kristen and I like to talk in the dark. We can talk all night.

Jack: Why would you?

Biggy: Girls even shower together.

TR: No they don't! That's just your fan--

Georgia: Yeah, we do. I don't have a problem showering with Kristen.

TR: You don't?!

Georgia: It's no big deal. I'm not gonna kiss her.

TR: I just don't want anyone to see me naked.

Biggy: Sadie and Georgia used to take showers together all the time. Two brothers wouldn't do that.

Jack: Nope.

Blaise: No way.

TR: You're all freaks.


Collin said...

Poor, poor straight boys.

E! said...

T, you asked me if I saw the blog tonight and if I was sad that I missed this dinner, so...first, after reading, yes, I wish I could have been here to add my two cents: no I would never shower with another girl, I was even on a collegiate soccer team and we never did that, not that there is anything wrong with that, but I never did that!

And second, I bet guys know how they dream some nights and don't know if they would unknowingly respond physically in their sleep, so I bet they would be paranoid... just my thoughts. Man, I wish I could have been here.

T, call me next time for family dinner!

mamoo said...

i have never seen you all sit at the dinner table long enough to have a conversation of that magnitude.

Ty said...

That is so funny and so true at the same time! Straight boys are so weird.

Kevin M. Scarbrough said...

"You'd think we'd have at least stabbed at "company" small talk and good manners." - Tania

I have to disagree that I would think that.

Tania Rochelle said...

Then you've been paying attention, Kevin.

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