Another Deep Dinnertime Discussion
Georgia's beau braved the family meal with us Sunday night. You'd think we'd have at least stabbed at "company" small talk and good manners. A little context for the actual conversation: JackMan's friend J had spent the night on Saturday.
TR: Hey, Jack, why did you make J sleep in the basement on that crappy futon? Your bed's big enough for both of you.
Jack: He was fine.
TR: You still didn't answer my question. You have a brand new, big, comfortable bed.
Jack: It's not that big.
Biggy: It wouldn't matter if it was [sic] a king-sized. We don't do that.
TR: What do you mean--'do that'--
Jack: Guys don't sleep in the same bed!
TR: Oh, c'mon. Blaise?
Blaise: It's true. After a certain age.
TR: Oh my God. Y'all are so homophobic. What--are you afraid that while you're sleeping, it's going to find it's way into the nearest orifice without your knowing?!
TR: Blaise, you really wouldn't sleep in the same bed with a friend of yours?
Blaise: I've had to before.
Jack: Key words being 'had to.' When you didn't have a choice.
Blaise: But we did the pillow thing.
(Boy nods all around.)
TR: Which is?
Blaise (looking at me as though I'd asked him what the first letter of the alphabet is): You know, one pillow between you under the covers and another one between, on top.
Biggy: The barricade.
Jack: To make sure you don't touch.
Blaise: Or the head-to-feet thing.
TR: You have GOT to be kidding.
Biggy: We're not like you. It's not like we're going to talk.
TR: No pillow talk?
Georgia: Kristen and I like to talk in the dark. We can talk all night.
Jack: Why would you?
Biggy: Girls even shower together.
TR: No they don't! That's just your fan--
Georgia: Yeah, we do. I don't have a problem showering with Kristen.
TR: You don't?!
Georgia: It's no big deal. I'm not gonna kiss her.
TR: I just don't want anyone to see me naked.
Biggy: Sadie and Georgia used to take showers together all the time. Two brothers wouldn't do that.
Blaise: No way.
TR: You're all freaks.