Poor Jack, #Chumpteen

Yesterday, as I was driving Jack over to his friend Nick's house, he informed me that he planned to stay home from school today, because the indoor drumline was expected to play at the pep rally, and he wasn't about to be humiliated that way.

After a little probing, I learned that they weren't going to be in uniform and they weren't actually marching the drill; they would simply stand there and play. Sans the pink floor and space suits, I figured there was no reason for embarrassment and responded that everyone would love the show and wish they were drummers too.

But Jack disagreed.

Jack: No one thinks it's cool, Mom. They'll be laughing at us.

TR: They'll be jealous on the inside.

Jack: I'm not going.

TR: You are going. You'll lose Incentive* if you miss another day of school.

Jack: I WON'T lose incentive. I've only missed one day, except for Good Friday, which was excused for religious reasons.

TR: Yeah, thanks to Greg's bogus note. He had to look up the word 'Liturgical.' I should've made you go see a Passion Play. Trust me, you'd rather go to school.

Jack: ANYWAY, I still have a day.

TR: Yeah, and you could get that flesh-eating disease tomorrow.

Jack: Mom!

TR: Worse yet, you could have a really bad hair day.

Jack: I'm not going. It doesn't matter what you say.

TR: That's fine. You won't be getting your license this month.

Jack. I'd rather not get my license than perform at that pep rally.

TR: Your choice.

(At this point, my son gets out of the car and barely squeezes out a 'bye' between clenched teeth before the door slams. I go to Lola's softball game and then back to Nick's to pick him up.)

Jack: (sarcastic, two-syllabled) Ha-ay.

TR: (sweetly) Hey.

Jack: I'm sorry I slammed the door.

TR: And didn't give me a proper good-bye?

Jack: I did say good-bye. Even though I was mad.

TR: I'm going to drop you off and go to Publix. Do you need anything?


TR: Regular old pencils?

Jack: (with a look that says he's getting ready to stick it to me) No, you can buy me mechanical pencils.

*(Incentive: If a student doesn't miss more than two days, they're exempt from a couple of finals that might hurt their grades.)


Anonymous said...

Meanest. Mother. EVER.

biggy said...

nah, the MME would have posted the video we have.

Collin said...

Remind us why Jack is even in band if he's so embarrassed by it?

Kathy said...

If you were really a mean Mother you would have made Jack go to the Stations of the Cross on Good Friday. Also, no radio or TV from noon until 3PM. In my youth, we didn't have Ipods, computers, etc. but I think they would also be on the not allowed list for Good Friday afternoon.

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