Big Plans For Friday Night

I left Lo's softball game tonight while the coaches and refs were still haggling over a questionable call and went straight over to the high school to pick Jack up from practice, just so I could sit in the parking lot waiting for him for twenty minutes, which is fine, for such is my lot in life...

Before my son's butt hits the bucket seat, he starts screaming about the heat being on full blast and then busts me for being wrapped in a blanket. After he adjusts the temperature and the radio to his liking, I ask if he'd like to drive, since he needs the practice, to which he responds, "Not THIS car," because we all know if he were to drive--even the two miles to our house--a red VW Beetle, he would instantly know all the words to "It's Raining Men."

On the road, he informed me that tomorrow, he, BT and Julian were planning to go to Noonday Park to ride their bikes. I just stared at him:

JackMan: WHAT?!

TR: (Raises eyebrows) Tomorrow?

JackMan: Yeah, it's supposed to be nice--AAAH, it's your birthday!

TR: (Again with the eyebrows)

JackMan: Dammit!

TR: You're going to go eat pizza with us.

JackMan: Oh My God! I hate to go out! [with y'all]


JackMan: Big deal--what have you had, like 50 of them? Don't make me go and I won't make you come to mine.

TR: I wouldn't miss your birthday dinner. I gave birth to you. Your birthday is really more about me than it is about you.

JackMan: EXACTLY! And yours is more about Mamoo. So you and Mamoo should go.

TR: Oh, yeah. Mamoo and Granny are coming. You'll be in charge of Granny's walker.


ButtonHole said...


Collin said...

Happy Birthday, T.Ro. I think you should make him drive granny and her walker in the gay VW.

Kathy said...

Happy Birthday!!!! If I still lived in Atlanta, I'd be joining you for some bday pizza. And I would do my best to embarrass Jack, although just being there would probably be enough.

I saw two ladies in their 70's out enjoying a brisk walk and conversation yesterday. They had on matching huge visors. One wore several different shades of orange; the other red and black. And they clearly did not give a shit what anyone thought about them. I think it was a glimpse of our future.

ads. said...

Happy birthday, T!!!
Way to use the ole "I gave birth to you" card, part of the "heavy guilt trip" technique. No motherly arsenal would be complete without it.
Make sure you, mamoo, and granny all hug Jack in public and thank him for coming....he'll LOVE that.

How the hell does "red VW"= gay, and if so, what does (my car) "sea foam RAV4"=...????

biggy said...

Ads, it's not that it's a VW, it's more of the fact that it's a VW Beetle, which is not really the most masculine car. Any car with a built in flower vase is probably not on a teenage boy's top 10 list of cool cars to drive, so I'm with Jack on this one.

But what Tania doesn't know, is that if she really wants to embarass Jack, pull up with some rap music blaring as he is waiting on the curb with some his friends. He haaaaaaaates that.

Tania Rochelle said...

I pull up with Kix Country full blast. That's even better.

Kathy, were they wearing fanny packs?

Thanks for the b-day wishes, all!

Kathy said...

I was too overwhelmed by the size of the visors to even notice if there were fanny packs.

Kevin M. Scarbrough said...

Happy B-Day T!

ktothefe said...

Happy Belated Birthday T!

The Gay VW: well, if there are two things I know a lot about it's being gay and cars! Furthermore, I am a VW driver, however, I did choose the sportier Golf over the Beetle. The Beetle was a bit too bulbous for my taste. And I must agree that a car that comes with its own flower vase may not be a straight teenage boy's ideal ride. That said, when equipped with a learner's permit, I don't think you should ever turn down the opportunity to drive. EVER.

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