11.08.2006

The Old Zombie-In-The-Closet Gag



This morning, at 6:25, I was awakened by a blood-curdling scream--George's. After the half-second of panic that I imagine comes naturally to most any mother who hears her child in such utter distress, I started laughing, along with Biggy, and then--quickly--Lola, as she scrambled into our room to join us in our revelry. We'd (Lo, Jack, and I) already been victims to a milder extent, yesterday, but we were merely practice.

Georgia's scare was Biggy's plan perfected. He set it up while she was sleeping. She gets up before sunrise, is all alone downstairs, would still be half asleep, and wouldn't have her contacts in...

A few minutes later, she crawled up the stairs. As she whimpered in my bed, I could only hear her every other word: "late...school...note...zombie...heart attack...asshole..."

I've never seen my husband so happy.

11 comments:

mamoo said...

scoundrel, low life, piece of sh..uh crap, i'll tell my grandaughter that i will capture her a roach, put it in a jar for her and when you are least expecting it (maybe while you are asleep), put it on your face. see how you would like that you scarer of grandchildren.

Collin said...

Tania, you and the family need your own reality TV show. It would be a huge hit. Minus Five could be a regular guest.

Jennifer said...

Take the zombie to the next band parent meeting so T's not the only one with living dead eyes glossed over when those idiots prattle. Also, Biggy, you absolutely must set that thing up in the passenger side of your car so you can ride the downtown connector in the HOV lanes. And don't wear underpants when you do it, just in case a cop pulls you over and happens to look down.

Tania Rochelle said...

Jennifer, he rode around with it for a couple of days.

Biggy said...

I'd like to thank the Academy....

Jennifer said...

With or without underpants? Did he dress it in Georgia's Ralph Lauren Polo shirt? Did he hang the legs out of the trunk of the Biggymobile?

a/ok said...

That's awesome! Cheddar and I are moving in. We won't even need a tv anymore.

minus five said...

we still do stuff like that to each other in my family. but we don't have any zombies or other like items. we just use ourselves and hide around corners or behind couches.

my sister is scared of the burger king man on the commercials, and i have a burger king man mask that i pull out from time to time. i can't wait to see her at thanksgiving...

Jennifer said...

At the holidays, my family likes to play with the electronic whoopie cushion. It's operated by remote, so you can let it rip from a distance. We most enjoy victimizing my bitch aunt with this device.

Alena said...

My favorite is the can of "La Croix" soda on the table next to your bed at 6.45 a.m.

Perfect start to the perfect day. Poor George.

Tania Rochelle said...

Alena, I take a can of soda to bed every night. Before I stopped drinking, it was a glass of white wine.

A goblet, actually.

About Me

My photo
Writer, teacher, student, mom.

Fresh Flowers Delivered