Someone left the TV on in the sunroom overnight, so when I sat down with my coffee this morning to see the scores of comments generated by my last post (one--my husband's), I could hear it in the background. I assumed, from the tone and rhythm of the voices, I was listening to a couple of televangelists, but then some of the actual dialogue started catching my attention, something about a woman who "...pulled a three-foot 'rope' out of her body, like a piece of black rubber..." and how the Almighty Cleanse Formula 1 is "a pusher...a mover...it re-educates the bowel..." I learned that Danny, the poopevangelist, discovered a "colony" of pinworms floating in his toilet bowl when he was 28. And all of this while I was eating my Publix breakfast bread.
Did you know that John Wayne had 40 pounds of fecal matter in his body when he died?
Elvis had 60.
For your viewing pleasure and edification, a small sample of the infomercial can be found here. (You know you want to click on it.)
8 comments:
but . . . ahem . . . aren't you the one who wrote a memorable, funny and very romantic poem to Biggy about pinworms?
Jesus only loves you when you move your bowels properly.
I've always relied on Burger King and Starbucks to help me move my bowels. Good to know there's a $50.00 alternative. But my most favorite part of this whole infomercial is the man that says "call now"--he sounds as if he's just taken a golden poo!
What's with all the quasi-religious undertones? I mean, since when did bowel "cleaning" become a sacrament? And why do I secretly want to try it?
Well...I have to say....this is the first I have seen of Christian Colon Cleansing...who knew you needed Jesus to take a dump.
Matthew 19:26
Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
I've caught some infommercials about this topic. I always laugh when I see an earnest-faced dweep intoning "BM" on my tv screen and scolding us about the need to make turds of sizeable "girth." Tell Biggy that Gators = fecal matter. love from Athens...
Oh Gawd... I couldn't stop watching this Poop-a-Preacher the other night on TV. He's better than Tammy Faye... well almost.
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