I was a real bitch at Christmas this year. Looking back on it, it's a wonder Biggy would ever try to give me anything again. And I AM sorry. But maybe the problem was he'd set such a high standard for gift-giving in the past, always choosing the perfect item, the most wanted, personal, thoughtful thing...that his misses this past Yuletide season resounded like gunshot off a canyon wall.
First, there was the black COAT, which I tossed--still in the box--to the floor. He'd slyly asked about coats while we were shopping, picking up a sleeve here and there, to ask, "What do you think about this one?" I'd told him every time and in no uncertain terms that a coat was the last thing in the world I needed or wanted. I have a closet full of Sadie and Georgia hand-me-downs, thrift store fake furs, and my special Newport-News-catalog-order black fony pony that I keep for dress occasions. That he hates all of these is no concern of mine. And if he wants to buy me one he likes, it should come out of his own allowance and not take away from the gift budget allotted for me.
Then there was the framed photograph of the two of us after hiking Panther Creek, which should have been sweet, touching, romantic even. Except that it was an awful picture of me--with bad hair and a Blair-Witch expression, and he had wet pits to his knees. It was not something I'd choose to display on my desk at work or hang at home, and I knew the reason he liked it was because his guns showed. At first, I thought it was a joke--that there was gonna be a new puppy hidden under the tissue. I couldn't even pretend away my confusion and disappointment.
Mamoo and Granny were concerned by my reaction when I unwrapped it; you could feel the tension in the room. Until I passed the frame to them, at which point they broke into hysterics.
My people understand. They "get it" so well that for my birthday this past March, Mom and Granny gave me THIS (below) in a nice frame. It tickles me every time I look at it, thinking about how the discussion must have gone beforehand re hairstyles and accessories.