5.09.2007

On Gifts and Such

I was a real bitch at Christmas this year. Looking back on it, it's a wonder Biggy would ever try to give me anything again. And I AM sorry. But maybe the problem was he'd set such a high standard for gift-giving in the past, always choosing the perfect item, the most wanted, personal, thoughtful thing...that his misses this past Yuletide season resounded like gunshot off a canyon wall.

First, there was the black COAT, which I tossed--still in the box--to the floor. He'd slyly asked about coats while we were shopping, picking up a sleeve here and there, to ask, "What do you think about this one?" I'd told him every time and in no uncertain terms that a coat was the last thing in the world I needed or wanted. I have a closet full of Sadie and Georgia hand-me-downs, thrift store fake furs, and my special Newport-News-catalog-order black fony pony that I keep for dress occasions. That he hates all of these is no concern of mine. And if he wants to buy me one he likes, it should come out of his own allowance and not take away from the gift budget allotted for me.

Then there was the framed photograph of the two of us after hiking Panther Creek, which should have been sweet, touching, romantic even. Except that it was an awful picture of me--with bad hair and a Blair-Witch expression, and he had wet pits to his knees. It was not something I'd choose to display on my desk at work or hang at home, and I knew the reason he liked it was because his guns showed. At first, I thought it was a joke--that there was gonna be a new puppy hidden under the tissue. I couldn't even pretend away my confusion and disappointment.

Mamoo and Granny were concerned by my reaction when I unwrapped it; you could feel the tension in the room. Until I passed the frame to them, at which point they broke into hysterics.



My people understand. They "get it" so well that for my birthday this past March, Mom and Granny gave me THIS (below) in a nice frame. It tickles me every time I look at it, thinking about how the discussion must have gone beforehand re hairstyles and accessories.

8 comments:

MCALDWELLC said...

Your mom and grandma are AWESOME! I would totally blow that picture up as large as I could and hang it in my office...

Kathy said...

Mammoo and Granny - you made me laugh out loud.

Biggy - Your guns do look great in that photo so I understand why you thought it would make a nice gift.

T - I do love your taste in coats. I seem to remember (although a little sketchy due to beers consumed) an evening at Hodowns where we each wore one of your fake furs, drank beer and danced badly while Rock Hudson in "Giant" was on the big screen. A lovely evening.

Tania Rochelle said...

Yes, that was the same night I kissed your poor brother. Good times.

Collin said...

What guns?

Kathy said...

Even though he loves my little brother's partner, I know it would make my Dad happy to know that my bro was once kissed by a girl ...

biggy said...

Collin, they're not as big as yours, but come on.

Rupert said...

lol at Collin - it's a *straight* thang, dear (still laffin)
T - you look so little and Biggy looks so, um . . . big!
and great, great pic of mamoo and granny - yes, Mary - it needs to be taken to Kinkos and blown UP!

Kathy said...

Mamoo -- as I was signing the funny card I brought for my Mom for Mother's Day, had a thought -- you and your Mom starring in a series of greeting cards. I think it would be a hit.

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