After months with little-to-no activity, save the boat's reappearance and disappearance at odd intervals, Bob has now listed the house for sale. Below, you will find an excerpt from the ad and the photo group he posted on the Internets, and below that, some shots that "a friend" took this afternoon.
Interesting, really, the disparity in perceptions between Bob and, well, the rest of the universe.
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AD:
Charming split level on quiet cul-de-sac. This established neighborhood of approximately 100+ homes is surrounded by new homes ranging from $700K to over $2.4 million. Property values are increasing rapidly.
Nestled on a half acre fenced lot this wonderful property is in close walking distance to shopping and the YMCA.
Currently under renovation but ready for move in if you so desire. I have lost the time and passion needed to finish a complete renovation so I am offering this home at well below market price for a fast sale. This home would make a great personal home, rental or for little effort you can finish the upgrades and flip it for a tremendous profit.
I have recently added an 8’x28’ covered rocking chair front porch, new front windows, new siding on front left section and new front door. The roof has been replaced on the front left section as well as new siding on top part of chimney. Home is recently being painted on the exterior and entire interior. The living room has been totally renovated with 6’ arched windows; new flooring and vaulted ceiling (replaced the old stipple ceiling with smooth). Kitchen cabinets freshly painted. New flooring in the kitchen, LR, and DR and updated electrical sockets and switches throughout the house. Upstairs has been totally painted including cabinets in bathrooms. Hall closet and pull down attic stairs added. Two new insulated garage doors.
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Now, for your viewing pleasure, more recent through-the-windows pics of the "charming...ready for move in..." home.
Get your crack house!
Rocking chair porch
Wonderful property
Totally renovated living room
Freshly painted kitchen cabinets
Ready to move in
Property values are increasing rapidly
7 comments:
"....but ready for move in if you so desire". um, for who? hoarders.
T, he's not a bad creative writer.
Yes! Another installment of:
This Old Crack House
I shudder to think about the kind of people that would actually want to live there...and based on the cars I've seen stop by (hello lowest common denominator!) I can already tell I'm going to have to keep the kids inside from now on.
Thank you, T.Ro. I needed a laugh to start the morning and this had me squealing.
It is totally move in ready for crackheads or pack rats. What does Bob have it listed for?
Neighbors told us the old woman who owned our house years ago was such a pack rat that they had to remove the big window in the front bedroom to get her body out of the house when she died (rumored that she was murdered by the "caretaker" living in the carriage house).
OH THIS IS JUICY. Please continue updates including journalistic-quality photographs of the couples coming to look at your multi-million dollar neighborhood. I am looking forward to sweater sets accompanied with looks of disgust!
That is the finest example of "polishing a turd" that I've ever seen!
I think that Bob's bungelow could be an assignment for the folks at PC. Create an ad that shovels more bullshit than Bob's...and sells it...perhaps a catchy jingle:
Hey, bungelow Bob-
you're such a slob,
get out of Cobb.
Where's bungelow Bill?
Did you have him killed?
What is that smell?
bob is just plain white trash. pure and simple.
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