Things My New Friends Don't Believe
1. That I have ten pets.
2. That my aunt once had a teacup chihuahua that smoked cigarettes.
3. That my father wore one driving glove.
4. That my grandmother broke her arm jumping on my pogo stick.
5. That my grandfather thought he was Jesus and went around dressed in robes and sandals.
6. That, to practice her acting skills, my best friend in fifth grade would sit in a bathtub full of scalding hot water and smile like it didn't hurt.
7. That my husband wears socks with flip-flops.
8. That my mother puts up more Christmas lights than Graceland.
9. That sometimes I take a bath with my dog.
10. Anything I tell them about the Clermont Lounge.