Things My New Friends Don't Believe

1. That I have ten pets.

2. That my aunt once had a teacup chihuahua that smoked cigarettes.

3. That my father wore one driving glove.

4. That my grandmother broke her arm jumping on my pogo stick.

5. That my grandfather thought he was Jesus and went around dressed in robes and sandals.

6. That, to practice her acting skills, my best friend in fifth grade would sit in a bathtub full of scalding hot water and smile like it didn't hurt.

7. That my husband wears socks with flip-flops.

8. That my mother puts up more Christmas lights than Graceland.

9. That sometimes I take a bath with my dog.

10. Anything I tell them about the Clermont Lounge.


Montgomery Maxton said...

i esp believe 8

biggy said...

We need to have a long talk about #9 when you return.

Macy Swain said...

I want to believe everything.

And the flaming panties...wow...great image.

ButtonHole said...

I want to hear more about the smoking Chihuahua. Please??

Tania Rochelle said...

RIght, Biggy. Pretend this is the first you've heard.

mamoo said...

you take a bath with fay????????

Tania Rochelle said...

Only sometimes. When she cries to get in and I don't want to hurt her feelings.

Collin said...

I've seen photographic evidence of 7. I did not need to know about 9 and I've already written a poem about 10.

KATE EVANS said...

You should write a poem that includes all these items!

Anonymous said...

Things Your New Friends WILL Believe:

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