8.11.2006

My First Modeling Gig


Gary W, the Illustration advisor here at PC, asked Georgia to pose for his students today, so she came in at 1:00 and sat until 4:30. I started worrying about her driving home in traffic (She had JackMan with her!), so I offered to sub for her during the last half hour, something I am loathe to do. At this very moment, I'm typing as I pose for six artists who had better NOT spend too much time sketching around my eyes and who had better be kindly blind to the crow's feet between them. Most of these guys are my students, too, so I imagine they're getting a big kick out of my embarrassment. I'll take a shot of their work when the session is up.

In the meantime, what to write or rant about? The only real news is that I started Celexa last Thursday, after twenty years of staunchly resisting boarding the anti-depressant bandwagon. My biggest concern has always been that medication would affect my writing. But since I haven't written a single poem anyway since I finished my manuscript in January, I figured I've got nothing to lose. I'm hoping the meds will help not only with depression, but also offer some relief from the anxiety that keeps me awake at night, wondering whether I should have bought 1% instead of 2% milk, as well as the obsessive thinking that drives me to google the kid who stole my Donnie Osmond lunchbox in fifth grade.

So far--9 days into it--I feel calmer, less anxious, if slightly blue and flat. Still, I'm sleeping better, and yesterday when Biggy and I had a bit of a "conflict," I was able to go about my day and function pretty happily until he got home from work. In other words, I didn't call and email him, seeking an immediate resolution, which always just compounds the issue. That's a major improvement from where I stand. I haven't gained any weight, which was also a huge concern, and I haven't lost the desire to jump my husband's bones--so far. The good outweighs the bad, then, at this point. It's supposed to take a month or so to really tell if I'm on the right pill.

We've sure come a long way since Valium and Xanax, the mother's little helpers of the late 20th century. When I was in college, suffering from bulimia, I saw a shrink at the UGA clinic. I had a difficult time trusting she could help me, because she was an obese chain smoker who looked and sounded like Jabba the Hut. Anyway, she made me keep a food journal and prescribed Xanax, which turned me into a zombie. Zombies don't eat anything but human flesh, though, so hey. It made the journal-keeping easy. That was my last venture into mental health pharmaceuticals. Until now. I'll keep you posted.

Well, time is up in the studio. Their sketches make me happy.


10 comments:

Biggy said...

honey, perhaps you should move the picture of Jabba from directly under your post title.

Garey Simpson said...

The middle sketch and the right sketch screwed up something, but the one on the left looks just like you, Tania! Anyways, I can't critique. That's better than I could do. I would have spent like 3 hours to shade the upper lip, GOSH! (Misquoted, I am aware)

Garey Simpson said...

Greg, lets be honest, which one is more accurate. Maybe she shouldn't move it... I'm going to go hide now.

MCALDWELLC said...

Those are great sketches...I agree, the one on the far left really captures you..very cool. Congratulations and welcome to the world of medication! It is definately not the "mother's little helper" variety of the 1950's and I assure you that you will not gain weight. Scary, I know, to try something new and unknown but I think the potential benefits outweigh the risks. If it makes you feel any better...I still stay up at night obsessing over stupid shit...there are parts of my personality that cannot be medicated out of me...I imagine the same is true for you...so enjoy that this may just take the edge off...you'll be suprised...don't overthink it though...

yeah right...

Tania Rochelle said...

Garey, you can run, but you can't hide.

Jennifer said...

Why are you wearing clothes, T?

Garey Simpson said...

Tania, I know. I'm dating your daughter. Running is useless too...











Just kidding.

Roger said...

Yea, I screwed something on Tania up (right-most drawing)... her beauty is hard to capture just right, in the way we all know. But it was a lot of fun drawing such a range of faces - and all from the same family to boot. You were all great models - thanks for coming in.

Tania Rochelle said...

Roger, that was such a sweet thing to say.

So I can't figure out why my husband is balled up on the floor, laughing hysterically...

Collin said...

Perfect time to kick him. lol. Sorry Biggy...couldn't resist.

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